You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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