and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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