dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
