Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize