No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
