he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
