Who did Billy Mays play for?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
