Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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