you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
