is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
