Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
