How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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