I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
