pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
