We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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