I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
