I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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