I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
