This show inspires me to have sex in space
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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