end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize