why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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