i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
