You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
