Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
