hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
