God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I love you. Go after that dick
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
