So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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