Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
