I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
