Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
