We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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