you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
