she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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