I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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