now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
