Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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