I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
