Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
