i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
