eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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