Your face is a jimmy john
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
