We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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