what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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