he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We just shotgunned beers for America
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
