I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
