So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
