i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
