I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
