I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize