it was like having sex with a tree stump
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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