I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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