Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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