i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
