Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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