my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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