I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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