In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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