did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
