so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
