ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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