I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
