It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
