fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I seem to have left my pride at pride
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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