I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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