i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
