so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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