i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
