Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
