Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize