Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize