Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
