And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
