im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
